GET OFF MY PORCH!

Recently I read a posting in a Facebook Group for those involved in Children's Ministries.  It was asking what we thought the greatest challenges to parents are to parents these days.  I have been mulling it over in the past few days.  Being an Early Childhood Educator, a Mom, and a servant in Children's Ministries at my church, I come into contact with LOTS of kids.  I have watched many many MANY kids grow up and become (hopefully) responsible citizens.  So I have had the opportunity to work with several levels of generations as well as experience my son's growth through the early years.  I have made, and seen, lots of mistakes and have had a good idea or two along the way.  

The older generation has looked upon the spoiled younger generations probably sine Adam and Eve watched their own children grow into young men, one of whom had....issues.  No doubt Eve mumbled about her thirteen hours of hard labor to bring the little ingrates into the world.  Only to have her precious babies grow up to suffer from a lethal dose of sibling rivalry.  I am no different.  One of my hobbies is to complain about kids these days.  Including my own.

What is wrong with kids these days?    It seems the teens are happy to live in Mom and Dad's house well past a medieval person's expected lifespan.  A job is an inconvenience and college is something that will wait in the wings until you think you are ready.  Middle Schoolers are so stuck into their phones and devices that they literally cannot go 30 minutes without checking their notifications bar.  And seriously...they consider it a dating relationship when they talk over text even if they have never met in person.  Elementary school kids seem to be shuttled from one activity to the next, and those activities rarely involve the family, the Lord, or making a difference.  Even the little ones cannot sit at a restaurant or take a long car ride without a tablet or other device as a distraction.

Now, comparing the kids of today with my generation X youth and childhood is not really fair.  Technology is unlike anything I could have imagined while growing up playing games on the old Atari.  No doubt I would have enjoyed being able to see the Charlie Brown Christmas special on August 18 if I so chose.  And to have Google ready to give me instant answers? GET OUT!

So where did we go wrong?  Why don't kids today want to grow up and get out and make a life of their own like we once did?  Why don't they want to get their license the first day they legally can and take the first step to driving away from uncool Mom and Dad?

My theory is this:  Today's younger generations are not taught personal responsibility.  Before any Tiger Moms out there attack me for disparaging their perfect child, consider this.  Does your child do his chores, earn good grades, eat her veggies, save his money because it is the right thing to do or because it is expected, or is t because they have some form of reward on the line?  And when they get that reward, are they grateful?  Is your child aware of what childhood is like in the favelas of Brazil? Do you have to sneak toys into the trash or donation pile because your lil darling would throw a tantrum if they knew you were giving away their precious broken Optimus Prime that they didn't know was living behind the dresser for three years?

And while we are at it, what do our kids say when they are online?  Do they exhibit integrity when they are only a name on a screen?  If your kid is like mine, and is forced to socialize on a crappy computer in a common area of the family room, have you looked at the browser history?  It is quite eye opening.  If I didn't know my Christian, sweet spirited, kind-hearted son and only knew him frm what he posts, I would find him emo, angry, foul-mouthed, and snarky.  It hurts my heart to see what he says to be accepted.  Lord only knows what he would do if I gave him complete privacy and civil rights.  I screw up with him a lot, but I do monitor hid activity and call him on it when he goes too far.  

As parents our job is to rear our kids to take responsibility for their decisions.  We love them and support them.  Should be apologize for them?  Make excuses for why they act out?  Stand in court and explain why your rapist son deserves leniency because he really is such a good kid?  Because that is where we are heading when we don't require our kid to accept the consequences.  It seems we are all about rewarding our kids for just living, but do not require them to give us or our word any respect.  Then they don't give any respect to teachers or other adults.  Then authority figures like bosses or police officers do not earn their respect.  

Sometimes I think that while we are going full speed ahead in the wrong direction, it is us the parents who have given the push to get it all started.  It is my hope and prayer that they arrive safely, and that we are not left behind wishing we had thought it through before it was too late to turn it around.